Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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