just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
