exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
