Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
