And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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