it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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