I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize