We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
