I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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