***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
