oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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