Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
