We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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