Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Boobs are out for the taking
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize