2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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