I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize