He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
