If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Randomize
