i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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