lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
