im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
