Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
