One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize