this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
