I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
