we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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