Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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