the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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