no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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