remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Why did my mother make you get naked?
where are my eyebrows?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
