let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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