laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
