Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
