we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
3 2 1 whiskey
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize