just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
