It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize