so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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