We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
