my soul wont recognize me after tonight
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
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