Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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