I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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