D3 body, D1 cock
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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