i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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