Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You are a genius and a whore.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
