you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
