My cat gives me a boner
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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