I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
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