Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize