I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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