But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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