i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My day in three words: secret purse cake
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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