why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
