i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just blew my weed a kiss
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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