i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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