Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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