i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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