Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
